These expectations may be based on your family history, influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows. However, retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing.
When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Does the relationship feel right to me?
The first step to finding a suitable partner is to distinguish between what you want and what you need in a partner. Wants are negotiable, needs are not. Wants include the things you think you'd like in a partner, including occupation, intellect, and physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color. Even if certain traits may appear to be crucially important to you at first, over time you'll often find that you've been needlessly limiting your choices.Needs are different than wants in that needs are those things that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life. These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by eyeing them on the street, reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick cocktail at a bar before last call.
Here are tips to landing a long lasting relationship;
1: Keep things in perspective
Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special.
Especially when it comes to Internet dating, people don’t always accurately portray themselves.Remember that first impressions aren't always reliable.
Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has a flaw—or several—and, for a relationship to last, you want someone to love you for the person you are, not the person you’d like to be, or the person he or she thinks you have the potential to become.
2: Build a genuine connection
dating game can be nerve wracking. It’s only natural to worry about how you’ll come across and whether or not your date will like you.
To Combat first-date nerves, focus your attention outward, rather than on your internal thoughts and feelings. Try to be fully present in the moment: in what your date is saying and doing and what’s going on around you. This will help take your mind off distracting doubts, worries, and insecurities.
The best way to connect with someone new is to show genuine interest. When you’re truly curious about someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it.
3: Put a priority on having fun
Think of your time as a single person as a great opportunity to meet new people, expand your social circle, and participate in new events. Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging out in pick-up bars, find and participate in activities that interest you.
Volunteer for a favorite charity, animal shelter, or political campaign. Or even try a volunteer vacation
Take an extension class at a local college or university.
Sign up for dance classes, cooking classes, or art classes.
Join a running club, hiking group, cycling group, or sports team.
Join a theater group, film group, or attend a panel discussion at a museum.
Find a local book group or photography club.
Attend local food and wine tasting events or art gallery openings.
Be creative: Write a list of activities available in your area and, with your eyes closed, randomly put a pin in one, even if it’s something you would never normally consider. How about pole dancing, origami, or lawn bowling? Getting out of your comfort zone can be rewarding in itself.
4: Learn to handle rejection gracefully
At some point, everyone looking for love is going to have to deal with rejection—both as the person being rejected and the person doing the rejecting. Some people can be overcome with anger, embarrassment, or anxiety when faced with rejection, or are so frightened of it happening again, they avoid dating or starting new relationships. Others find it so difficult to reject another person, they find themselves caught up in prolonged, unhealthy relationships.
By staying positive and being honest with yourself and others, handling rejection can be far less intimidating. The key is to accept that rejection is an inevitable part of dating but to not spend too much time worrying about it. It’s never fatal.
If you’re rejected after one or a few dates, the other person is likely only rejecting you for superficial reasons you have no control over.
Be grateful for early rejections in a relationship as it can spare you much more pain down the road. Don’t take it personally.
By dealing with rejection in a healthy way it can increase your strength and resilience. Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience.
5: Watch for relationship red flags
It's important to be aware of red-flag behaviors that may indicate a relationship is not going to lead to healthy, lasting love. Red-flags like Jealousy about outside interests, trouble making a commitment, Controlling behavior, alcohol dependent relationship, the relationship is exclusively sexual, and, No one-on-one time together.
6: Deal with trust issues
Mutual trust is a cornerstone of any close personal relationship. If there is no trust in a relationship, it's impossible for you to feel safe and cared for by another person, or to make that person feel safe and cared for. In other words, without trust, lasting love can never blossom.
Of course, trust doesn’t develop overnight; it develops over time as your connection with another person deepens and you learn more about each other. When you’re unable to trust others, your romantic relationships will be dominated by fear—fear of being betrayed by the other person, fear of being let down, or fear of feeling vulnerable.
7: Nurture your budding relationship
Remember that finding the right person is just the beginning of the journey, not the destination. In order to move from casual dating to a committed, loving relationship, you need to nurture that new connection. It's a process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person as a whole. It also requires an openness to compromise and change.
For a romantic relationship to blossom into lasting love you need to be willing and able to, Invest in the relationship, Communicate openly.
Resolve conflict by fighting fair. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. No matter how you approach, the important thing is that you need to feel safe to express the things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and to be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right. Accept change!
Relationship, Dating, Love, Romance
